honestly this is extremely cool, i would 100% read this entire thing, awesome work dude

This isn't really criticism because idk what you're cooking but a few questions to do with writing:

1. What was you're thinking with making samet, Marco and serroinga the main characters? Also do the characters relate to the irl counterparts in any way, because I didn't really get any indication from the first page, just 3 anime girls that share the same name and maybe some design aspects. Granted it's just the first page though

2. Why a storytelling club, does it have something to do with OT? I feel like if you wanted to make a club out of OT, it would be something like a club that is filled with misfits that has absolutely no direction or purpose and they get up to crazy shenanigans all the time. Or is this more like an OT school and this is a club in it?

Really cool thread though, we're entering Valhalla with this one

I will read whenever I feel like it.

Thanks for the clarification, now I can actually say that it's good art and I this project.

i would read it, because you made it and it's for the off-topic subforum :)

the art is acceptably expressive and legible, no issues!! the writing and characterization, though... i dont know yet

given the nature of cgdct, and the way this manga introduced itself... it will need some help to remain interesting, and what i would want from it may not really align with the premise or genre. i think it would have to either introduce some sort of narrative substance through characterization to feel fulfilling, or it would have to rely on the absurd comedy it seems to be aiming for, which may not be as easy as it might seem

but i hope to be grateful for what you made. and if you make more, i hope that you or anyone else here will enjoy its creation. i would definitely visit again if it's updated, and i would be open to submitting more when the time comes <3

(i might update the review later with more specific critique!! it should be in another post sometime tomorrow, if i to do that)

For those who voted that the manga looks bad, I would like you to explain why, so I can improve it. If it has to do with the size of the screentones (the little dots that are in all mangas, used for painting), changing it is the easiest thing.

DM FOR MUTUAL wrote: 6z15h

This isn't really criticism because idk what you're cooking but a few questions to do with writing:

1. What was you're thinking with making samet, Marco and serroinga the main characters? Also do the characters relate to the irl counterparts in any way, because I didn't really get any indication from the first page, just 3 anime girls that share the same name and maybe some design aspects. Granted it's just the first page though

2. Why a storytelling club, does it have something to do with OT? I feel like if you wanted to make a club out of OT, it would be something like a club that is filled with misfits that has absolutely no direction or purpose and they get up to crazy shenanigans all the time. Or is this more like an OT school and this is a club in it?

Really cool thread though, we're entering Valhalla with this one

I chose Marco and Serraionga because I like them and I know they won't leave the forum (look at how long they've been here), and Samet because he's the only one who somehow fits the personality that was missing. It's going to be a storytelling club so there's always something interesting happening, with different scenarios, etc. Serraionga should have portal powers in his stories, and Miku will be in Marco's stories. Each one will have a different storytelling style. As you can see, Marco seems to dislike violence in the manga, which is consistent with the Marco we know. In the stories I intend to mention past events about the forum and things like that, to always give a familiar atmosphere. That's basically all I've thought of so far. And I plan to add new people in the future.

Hell yeah I this no matter how scuffed it will be

LEEEETTTSSSS GOOOOO

i think you should post these pages as .pngs

also did you turn people here into girls?

I actually think the Manga looks pretty good, I dont know what people are on about.
Maybe their expectations are too high?

On a separate note, I think you should drop the overuse of honorifics, or change the names to actually match those honorifics.

For example, hearing "Serraionga-chan" is quite awkward and jarring, it just doesnt work.
Maybe a nickname like "Serri-chan"? Personally think it works a lot better (obviously you choose the names, I'm not the greatest at this stuff either, evidently).

didn't know you could draw

no fish in first page -10/10000000 score

Since no one said that the screentones are bad, I think I'll keep the style.

z0z wrote: 2h2d46

i think you should post these pages as .pngs

also did you turn people here into girls?

Putting it in BBcode is too obvious for me not to have tested it, it causes moire. but I can also do it as a complement, if anyone wants.

And yes, just like on the first page, they are all anime girls.

Ymir wrote: 2z2l6t

I actually think the Manga looks pretty good, I dont know what people are on about.
Maybe their expectations are too high?

On a separate note, I think you should drop the overuse of honorifics, or change the names to actually match those honorifics.

For example, hearing "Serraionga-chan" is quite awkward and jarring, it just doesnt work.
Maybe a nickname like "Serri-chan"? Personally think it works a lot better (obviously you choose the names, I'm not the greatest at this stuff either, evidently).

Thank you, you are helping me a lot!
People should not be afraid to say what they think...
I think I will stop using honorifics, unless it is a "-sama" or something that makes a difference.

Yeah that's a good idea.

i should make temu version with my 1st grader drawing skills

pog

I wanted to ask something, but I will get smacked by the GMTs if I do so.

Winnyace wrote: 182q6t

I wanted to ask something, but I will get smacked by the GMTs if I do so.

You can PM me if it is relevant.

Other: please fucking kill me.

I LOOK SO CUTE

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them ed like the third chapter

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them ed like the third chapter

The process of making it is cool, so unless college is really hard (I'm going to start it next year) and I have very little time, I'll continue the manga as long as I can.

Also, can you find these mangas? It would be interesting for me if I could see them, and the posts in these threads.

will read :thumbsup:

i hope this isnt too much work for you but i think its neat and i will read it

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them ed like the third chapter

The process of making it is cool, so unless college is really hard (I'm going to start it next year) and I have very little time, I'll continue the manga as long as I can.

Also, can you find these mangas? It would be interesting for me if I could see them, and the posts in these threads.

community/forums/topics/1843133?n=1

I mean, those are 'osu!' mangas, I think as long as OT doesn't just abandon this thread, this could have potential.

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

honestly, what I said in a previous thread, don't sweat the details too much, just do it, this is liek the third or fourth time we get a osu manga announced and none of them ed like the third chapter

The process of making it is cool, so unless college is really hard (I'm going to start it next year) and I have very little time, I'll continue the manga as long as I can.

Also, can you find these mangas? It would be interesting for me if I could see them, and the posts in these threads.

community/forums/topics/1843133?n=1

Those are about osu! in general, not OT specific

wanna make an OT!shonen, but i suck at drawing and i'd rather finish the story first before getting to the visuals
this is a good compromise

4 people will read it because they really think it will be good, 4 will read it but think it will be bad, 3 people don't like this style of manga, but they will read it, and two people will at least try to read it, totaling more than 80% of the votes (at least now), and only one person won't even try to read it.

These are good enough results to motivate me to do it, so it's confirmed!

In about a month (It could be more or less, but more likely less) the first chapter, expected to have 8 pages, will be released (it may seem like few pages for a long time, but it REALLY isn't).

Also, today I dreamed that Sametdze (one of the main characters) changed his osu! name, it was a nightmare really lol.

yeah 8 pages per month is actually a pretty good thing, consider that most mangas do release a chapter a month, yes those chapters are usually a bit longer but they're professionals

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

yeah 8 pages per month is actually a pretty good thing, consider that most mangas do release a chapter a month, yes those chapters are usually a bit longer but they're professionals

me brainstorming my own novel for lore of my entire characters (basically the size of like, 30 bibles) and expecting to write at minimum a chapter a day except not really because im still brainstorming

it would be funny if you include a person who has changed their osu name many times, and then have another character call them by one of their former names without realising lol

"hello canadian-baka!"
"who?"
"you!"
"i'm ashton now.."

Oh damn that’s actually cool lol

sametdze wrote: 1l1a4s

it would be funny if you include a person who has changed their osu name many times, and then have another character call them by one of their former names without realising lol

"hello canadian-baka!"
"who?"
"you!"
"i'm ashton now.."

Noted, thanks for your contribution!


05/12/2024: Attention, the first chapter of the OT! Manga Adaptation will be slightly delayed, but it is almost finished. Don't worry, I’m doing my best to work quickly while maintaining quality.

The first chapter of the OT! Manga Adaptation is finally out. Let me know your thoughts!

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

⚠ IMPORTANT THINGS, read carefully: ⚠

To see the manga, access it on a computer (not a cell phone), and set the zoom to 100% (it is not 100% by default). You should take these preventive measures to avoid the moire effect.

If you don't know what the moire effect is, it's when there is a strange unwanted pattern due to something to do with pixel overlap or something like that (which makes several manga look strange at some zooms other than 100%), but it is better explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moir%C3%A9_pattern



The manga reading order is from right to left, and top to bottom.

Link <===============




The focus of chapter 1 was just showing in a funny way that Samet likes trains. I think in the next chapter I'll probably focus on Marco or Serraionga, but I haven’t decided yet. With this manga, I realized that thinking about what 8 pages of a manga will be is actually very hard.

Did you like it? Do you have any suggestions for improvement?

now this is the advanced autism i wanted to see, my only suggestion would be to try making really intense scenarios instead of slice of life but thats a personal taste of mine. Making what you promised in time is really impressing so congrats dude

also disapierd

Reyalp51 wrote: 3o2r5d

now this is the advanced autism i wanted to see

Thanks!

Reyalp51 wrote: 3o2r5d

my only suggestion would be to try making really intense scenarios instead of slice of life but thats a personal taste of mine.

Hmm, I don't think I'll do that, but if more people say they want it to change, maybe I could consider it.

Reyalp51 wrote: 3o2r5d

Making what you promised in time is really impressing so congrats dude

Actually it wasn't 100% on time...

Reyalp51 wrote: 3o2r5d

also disapierd

;-; Fixed.

Hahaha! Very nice chapter :)

man i'm not dressed like her... at least i'm qt :3

PEAK QUALITY

SEHRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT

i see... i think i like it, the punchline of them finding out they've worried for nothing landed well enough while still generally characterizing everyone (to different extents) and remaining light-hearted! the ling is good, the use of screen tones has been good, scenes are given whatever visual aids they need in order to convey whatever emotions they need to, everything seems to connect reasonably well :>

if i could make sense of the "vibe" i've gathered from it, i'd describe it through a flavor... something like tomato and lettuce with a hint of fragrant orange zest-- mild and wet and leafy, with glimpses of a warm and sharp citric taste, i guess...? or a chilled ham sandwich, or something like that

idk, i dont have that much to add, and the things i'm interested in aren't really present in this (i haven't seen anything notable related to characterization or narrative substance that i'd pay attention to), but it still does what it came to do in classic cgdct fashion

- Marco - wrote: 6a4s1t

man i'm not dressed like her... at least i'm qt :3

I can make you cosplay her soon, that's actually a good idea.

sametdze wrote: 1l1a4s

SEHRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTT

?

-----

Now all that's left is for Serraionga to post to complete the trio, lol.

sehr guht means very good in german

now that I have the full chapter, the general drawings feel very 3d, in many ways it feels like i'm watching kemono friends with the full 3DCG, which honestly I don't mind. Also, this seems to be entirerily episodic right?, that may be the best approach to this manga

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

- Marco - wrote: 6a4s1t

man i'm not dressed like her... at least i'm qt :3

I can make you cosplay her soon, that's actually a good idea.

AYOOOOOO

this is actually impressive ngl

I love it

peak

cubone cameo was peak

Very nice concept. A CGDCT with topics revolving around "off-topic" stuff. (Banger first )
Decent artstyle

Just some nitpicks...

1. It would be cool if there was an extra page (right after the cover page) on who those characters are/based on because I had no idea it was actually portraying real people. It would give context to new readers.
2. I'm hoping the comedy later on will have a little more "oompf" to it. The punchline at the end felt a bit awkward to end the chapter there.

Other than those, this has solid potential. Keep writing more

its alright

The second chapter of the OT! Manga Adaptation is out. Let me know your thoughts!

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

⚠ IMPORTANT THINGS, read carefully: ⚠

To see the manga, access it on a computer (not a cell phone), and set the zoom to 100% (it is not 100% by default). You should take these preventive measures to avoid the moire effect.

If you don't know what the moire effect is, it's when there is a strange unwanted pattern due to something to do with pixel overlap or something like that (which makes several manga look strange at some zooms other than 100%), but it is better explained here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moir%C3%A9_pattern



The manga reading order is from right to left, and top to bottom.

Link <===============



If you found chapter 2 very schizophrenic, I'm not sorry. That was the intention.

Did you like it? What did you think of chapter 2 in relation to chapter 1? I didn't know if my way of making the shadow on the characters' necks was good, so I decided to remove it and get your on what is better.

i think chapter 2 was pretty good, i liked how nonsensical it was

i also liked the interactions between abraker and sametdze, i found it pretty funny

Be honest...
You were on something weren't you...
I am bamboozled...

Its pretty cool i like it

i'm utterly confused, still good, shoutout to the kemono friends artstyle, but what the fuck

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

Besides, did you pay attention to the license plate?

I expected to see the plate give an explanation as to why abraker is bald. And he totally should've been a teacher instead.


Also repeating myself from the other thread in case you haven't seen it.

You should switch to 4koma sometimes to regain motivation. It's easy to make, which results in more posts in between normal chapter releases. You also immediately see the results of your work without serious time commitment. Win-win.

baldbraker

i... actually really liked this chapter, it felt a little more interesting, although i don't know how to articulate why yet

it was easy enough to understand, or rather it seemed easy enough for me to believe i understood the course of events, it actually seems kind of linear to me with the exception of it revealing that those sequences are nested within one another, with maybe one point that seemed ambiguous until i read the note at the end (after i initially posted this)

ah the art, i forgot, i don't have many personally notable thoughts on it but i'd be a bit surprised if it happened to be fully and originally 2d. it seems like they were somehow made by arranging 3d models or 3d backgrounds, then drawn over with line tools in some way, and the ability to remain on-model with those designs is sort of impressive to me if that wasn't the case

either way, i find it vaguely charming even if not a style i would typically prefer :>

how did you make it so 3D and 2D at the same time imagine I was reading this high
good job though keep it up love it very cute, im going to make rule34 of abraker now

quite silly

also bald abarker

well that was weird lol

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

reffty_gag wrote: o4w2f

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

reffty_gag wrote: o4w2f

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have

BRO HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS READING LYRICS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AND ALSO READ THIS MANGA, ARE YOU A STALKER ?????!!!

reffty_gag wrote: o4w2f

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

reffty_gag wrote: o4w2f

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have

BRO HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS READING LYRICS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AND ALSO READ THIS MANGA, ARE YOU A STALKER ?????!!!

what? no? I think you misunderstood it

you say you listened to that album while reading

That album has lyrics

I was like "damn impressive you can listen to music with lyrics while reading"

I did not realize you were actively seraching the lyrics on google in the middle of reading the manga chapter

imagine him multi tasking though, in his ears he's listening to the album, his left eye is reading OT manga and his right eye is reading through the lyrics of the song, true giga chad

I'm glad you guys liked it!

I'm going to share the creation process, since you all seem curious, and I think it's interesting:

Kobold84 wrote: 4c5ma

You should switch to 4koma sometimes to regain motivation. It's easy to make, which results in more posts in between normal chapter releases. You also immediately see the results of your work without serious time commitment. Win-win.

I thought about doing this after the third chapter. It's quite likely.

i love the way the drafts look, can you the rest of them

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

reffty_gag wrote: o4w2f

Patatitta wrote: 5t25

reffty_gag wrote: o4w2f

read this manga while listening to "the low end theory" album kinda fire

i'm surprised you can listen to music with lyrics while reading, that's not a skill I have

BRO HOW DO YOU KNOW I WAS READING LYRICS WHILE LISTENING TO THIS AND ALSO READ THIS MANGA, ARE YOU A STALKER ?????!!!

what? no? I think you misunderstood it

you say you listened to that album while reading

That album has lyrics

I was like "damn impressive you can listen to music with lyrics while reading"

I did not realize you were actively seraching the lyrics on google in the middle of reading the manga chapter

oh sorry

I fucking knew it was too 3d, you were using a hentai game to make the characters

i kinda love this manga, but the 3d artstyle isn't my cup of tea

wait that's in aud it might be super cheap in brazil currency

In case you are Corne and you're reading this: Stop thinking about doing what I know you're thinking about doing, please.

nevermind

he could've gotten a ticket to miku expo (if he converted it into USD) but he bought a gooner game with that money instead. at least he's using the game for good purposes and not professional gooner purposes

Let's try not to derail the thread, please.

you have nobody to blame but me if this ends up going south

by the time i wake up tomorrow i'm more than sure corne would've deleted everything, so you've got nothing to worry about

sametdze wrote: 1l1a4s

you have nobody to blame but me if this ends up going south

by the time i wake up tomorrow i'm more than sure corne would've deleted everything, so you've got nothing to worry about

The threat is gone already

istg if i get silenced

Chapter 2: community/forums/topics/1998785?n=54

Creation process: community/forums/topics/1998785?n=70

Corne2Plum3 wrote: 3y1z1p

sametdze wrote: 1l1a4s

you have nobody to blame but me if this ends up going south

by the time i wake up tomorrow i'm more than sure corne would've deleted everything, so you've got nothing to worry about

The threat is gone already

I read thread instead of threat, lol.

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

Let's try not to derail the thread, please.

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

Draft (JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2)

HEY, I SAID TO JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2!

It's art.

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

I didn't know if my way of making the shadow on the characters' necks was good, so I decided to remove it and get your on what is better.

I read both back to back again today and didn't notice it at all.

time:
The chapter itself was all right on the weirdness scale, I didn't get the ending until I read through your explanation, and that's mostly on how fast you transition between scenes and frames. You put in too much information in frames, so there are issues with pacing. You can fit a lot more than simple dialogues within a single frame: some hesitation, reaction and a lot more to have it more presentable and, I guess, personal to the reader?

And you absolutely should use visual space (as shown in my example below) to make the reader read at the exact pace you want him to read to deliver the moment just so it feels more "right". This way conversations flow more naturally.


Well, you do use these and other techniques sometimes, so my advice is to use it more often.

Kobold84 wrote: 4c5ma

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

Draft (JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2)

HEY, I SAID TO JUST SEE IF YOU'VE READ CHAPTER 2!

It's art.

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

I didn't know if my way of making the shadow on the characters' necks was good, so I decided to remove it and get your on what is better.

I read both back to back again today and didn't notice it at all.

time:
The chapter itself was all right on the weirdness scale, I didn't get the ending until I read through your explanation, and that's mostly on how fast you transition between scenes and frames. You put in too much information in frames, so there are issues with pacing. You can fit a lot more than simple dialogues within a single frame: some hesitation, reaction and a lot more to have it more presentable and, I guess, personal to the reader?

And you absolutely should use visual space (as shown in my example below) to make the reader read at the exact pace you want him to read to deliver the moment just so it feels more "right". This way conversations flow more naturally.

Here is a general idea of how to improve one page.

Well, you do use these and other techniques sometimes, so my advice is to use it more often.

Interesting, I hadn't thought of that. I guess I'm not very good with these things. The first time I read a manga was about 4 days before I started creating chapter 1, just to get an idea of ​​how to do it. In fact, I only read a few random chapters of about 10 random mangas, lol.

I will try to implement this.

Oh, and the quality is only like that because you had to zoom out to take a screenshot of everything, right?

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

Interesting, I hadn't thought of that. I guess I'm not very good with these things. The first time I read a manga was about 4 days before I started creating chapter 1, just to get an idea of ​​how to do it. In fact, I only read a few random chapters of about 10 random mangas, lol.

I will try to implement this.

Hire me as an editor to find out more tips and tricks.

Behrauder wrote: 3k4k5m

Oh, and the quality is only like that because you had to zoom out to take a screenshot of everything, right?

Yep.